Below is a song that I wrote for Nick while in California. I just found it in my scratchbook. I think it's a little haunting that the song revolves around water, given that I didn't know how it happened while we were there.
No Time for What Ifs Anymore
Sleep, now
Say your peace to me
I can hear you more
than ever before.
Waning
memories we have
tender photographs
capture time.
Chorus:
There's no time for 'what ifs' anymore
Fading quickly at the harbor shore
There's no time for rearranging, changing,
blaming
Now it's all just memory
from before.
Sleep, now
sun has set again
Passing time begets another day.
In awhile
we will meet, my friend
I'll be
waiting
for your
timid smile.
There's no time for 'what if's' anymore
Fading quickly at the harbor shore.
There's no time for rearranging, changing,
blaming
Now it's all just memory
from before.
bridge:
Here I sit and wait for you,
I'll always hear you in the waves
that tell me you understand the 'Whys'
and always did, you just needed to be reminded
by the tide.
I'm going to put this to a slow piano song that was originally slated to be a lullaby song for Chloe. It's fascinating to see where songs go. As a composer, it is possible for different muses to evoke the feelings needed to write music. The song was written with a shooshing lullaby in mind, and the same song will now be suited as a farewell to a friend.
It's funny how grief works. I have been "good" for about a week, with no crying, even after seeing "The Bridge," a documentary on suicides at the GGB. I thought perhaps the grief was moving somewhere into my subconscious, but it came back this week when I am on the way to work. Maybe that is the only time that I have allowed my mind to roam back to its sad place.
